Last year about this time I started a new Weight Watchers program.  After five or six months I quit.  Believe it or not, that is not easy to say.  I liked the program, but I didn’t see any results.  I didn’t gain any weight, but I didn’t lose any either.  And I did follow the regime right down to counting housework and gardening when it came to exercise.  But some of you may remember that I was only a few pounds short of my maintenance weight and so it looked to some that I might not belong in a Weight Watchers class.

Not only did I get questionable looks, I got remarks that were just short of unkind, and I also felt like the instructor was not up to standard.  She was kind, nice, and for all practical purposes met the needs of most of the folks in the class.  But she came ill-prepared, started the class late, and rushed through the three classes that were required for beginners.  (I forgot what they were called.)  I learned more from the website and reading the material on my own.  And most importantly, I repeat, I did not lose weight.

What happened is not pretty.  Since then I gained at least seven pounds.  The good news is I can still fit into most of my clothes but holding my breath to zip a pair of jeans is not what I call a fun time.  Therefore, I’m back where I started a year ago: needing to lose weight.  This time, I’m going to start where I did in 2009 when I lost 20 pounds in nine months.  I counted calories.

I have this neat app on my smartphone that is called MyFitnessPal.  Unlike the Weight Watchers app, I have not figured out how to add calories not in their data bank, but so far it is working well.  I know I need to eat 1200 or less calories a day and that is my goal.  I also know that I have to avoid sweets and chips, both hard to do in my case.  A couple of small glasses of red wine in the evening will do no harm, as long as I count the calories.

You may wonder what prompted this next phase of weight loss.  Maybe the “mother-of-the-groom” dress I need to wear in April or my high school class reunion in May or a beach trip with the grandchildren in June?  Who knows?  More than likely it was a gut feeling that my body is not right when I’m over weight.  Ernest Holmes wrote, “Learn to trust life…and prepare not to die, but to live.”  For me that means I need to stop doing things (like eating the wrong foods) that harm me and begin eating healthy foods that help me to live.

I inherited an Ankh Egyptian cross from my mother when she passed away.  It is heavy and large but she wore it with pride, hanging around her neck as she dressed in beautiful turtleneck sweaters.  Known as the key of life, it represents the concept of eternal life.  I like to take the cross out from time to time and remark on its beauty and remind myself of its symbolism.  And although my mother is no longer with me, she lives eternally in my heart, young and healthy.

My body may ebb and flow, like the seasons, but I rejoice as I am reminded that I have the power to appreciate the path I am on; a path of endless self-expression and it is all Good.  This gift of life flows through me and I am blessed.

Happy New Year….Cheers to trusting life…., and Let the calorie counting begin!